Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Andrew vs The Demons: Week 6 Blog Neglect

First a nutrition related confession: Today I had a chocolate chip muffin for breakfast a peanut butter sandwich for lunch and a chocolate dipped ice cream cone for dinner. I also had two coffees and a few glasses of cola. I think I should buy groceries! :P

There are mainly two ways in which my blog becomes neglected. Either I'm sitting at home feeling down and not motivated to write or I'm out living my life and barely find time to snap photos let alone write about what I'm doing. Lately it's been the latter. If any of you <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/12112468@N06/sets/72157632402674029/">follow my photos</a> you may have noticed some gaps lately. I'm not too down to take photos. I'm too busy keeping my phone in my pocket. When there are real live people around my phone goes away … mostly. That's enough news I think. 

"I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it people like me!" 
- Stuart Smalley

Be well. 

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Andrew vs The Demons: Week 5 Halftime

It's midweek so I ought to post. 

My penchant for having <strike>inappropriate</strike> unusual reactions continues. Some of the time I respond in a way opposite to what one might expect. Much talk of Heaven and the eternity of one's soul left me not with hope and peace but left me unsettled and full of dread. I think this ought not be the case. Perhaps I was overly tired and already unsettled. Food, coffee, and friendly faces brought me back to normalcy, eventually. 

I could explain this phenomenon more clearly but perhaps now is not the time. 

Some time ago I would often misinterpret a full bladder as leg pain. There are other examples but that springs to mind most readily. I wonder how often I've misread cues for hunger or sleep. For that matter how often have I misinterpreted cues from other people? Do I continue to? Likely. Praise and criticism are things I likely don't understand correctly. 

Hmm. 

Be well. 


Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Andrew vs The Demons: Week 4 Pleasant Darkness

In the winter my friend was here. He was here while I had my breakfast and my morning coffee and would go on his way at sunrise. Sometimes he'd arrive before I'd had my dinner. Always he was present during my evening activities.  These days though I hardly see him. Some nights I'm asleep before he shows. Some mornings he has gone again before I've even completely awaken. Why should it be so? It ought to be the opposite but it is not. The long(er) days of spring and summer ought to bring comfort for a diurnal creature. Instead the days bring anxiety and apprehension. The days bring a sinking feeling that I've started late and will finish early. I miss my friend. I miss The Darkness. 

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Andrew vs The Demons: Week 3 Wrap Up

I am not ever one to count my chickens before they've hatched but I'm confident that between now and Monday morning I will not sink to the depths of despair. With that in mind I'm going to say I won this week. I'm not sure what the final score was but I'm sure I didn't lose.

Several mornings this past week I was awake about an hour before my alarm went off. I was able to get back to sleep but, still, that's not anything anyone needs.

Another thing not anyone needs is to live in a mess. Most of the time I live in a mess. The living room I can keep clean but the kitchen... that's another story. I'm not sure what my problem is but my dishes always pile up. I feel tremendously better when the kitchen is clean so - as an exercise in hygiene (mental an otherwise) - I'm going to try to stay on top of my dishes. No sweeping declaration. No vow. No promise. Just the knowledge that a clean kitchen brings me up rather than down.

Be well.

Thursday, May 09, 2013

Andrew vs The Demons: Week 3 Halftime-ish

When you have a blog you occasionally come across a blog that is much better than your own. Today I came across such a blog. I know not what the usual subject of the blog is but lately it's about depression. Check it out. Click here to visit Hyperbole And A Half. There is some of what they call "strong language" but we're all adults here, right? We can handle that.

So what about me? I think The Demons are on holiday. Self doubt and self pity have been around but they never stay for a second cuppa. Besides, they're supposed to show up now and again. Exuberance has been around too. At least that's what I'm calling it. I think my baseline mood has levelled up so... [metaphor about a power meter in a video game]. That'll do.

Be well.

Sunday, May 05, 2013

Andrew vs The Demons: Week 2 Some More

"The best bridge between despair and hope is a good night's sleep."
- E. Jospeh Cossman

Saturday, May 04, 2013

Andrew vs The Demons: Week 2 So Far So Good

My reset did me some good. Perhaps yesterday I was merely tired. A nap once home from work followed by a bite to eat and then straight to bed. Today was much better. This is an ongoing trend. The day after an afterwork nap is always good. Today was also Saturday and it was sunny so all of that helps.

Be well.

Friday, May 03, 2013

Andrew vs The Demons: Week 2 So Far

So I wasn't really keeping score this week. I took it to mean I must be winning. Though today, Friday, I'm unsure. I'm unsure how I quantify or describe today's feelings. I plan to hit "reset" (ie have a nap) and reassess. Stay tuned.

Be well.