Andrew vs The Demons: Week 4 Pleasant Darkness

In the winter my friend was here. He was here while I had my breakfast and my morning coffee and would go on his way at sunrise. Sometimes he'd arrive before I'd had my dinner. Always he was present during my evening activities.  These days though I hardly see him. Some nights I'm asleep before he shows. Some mornings he has gone again before I've even completely awaken. Why should it be so? It ought to be the opposite but it is not. The long(er) days of spring and summer ought to bring comfort for a diurnal creature. Instead the days bring anxiety and apprehension. The days bring a sinking feeling that I've started late and will finish early. I miss my friend. I miss The Darkness. 

Andrew vs The Demons: Week 3 Wrap Up

I am not ever one to count my chickens before they've hatched but I'm confident that between now and Monday morning I will not sink to the depths of despair. With that in mind I'm going to say I won this week. I'm not sure what the final score was but I'm sure I didn't lose.

Several mornings this past week I was awake about an hour before my alarm went off. I was able to get back to sleep but, still, that's not anything anyone needs.

Another thing not anyone needs is to live in a mess. Most of the time I live in a mess. The living room I can keep clean but the kitchen... that's another story. I'm not sure what my problem is but my dishes always pile up. I feel tremendously better when the kitchen is clean so - as an exercise in hygiene (mental an otherwise) - I'm going to try to stay on top of my dishes. No sweeping declaration. No vow. No promise. Just the knowledge that a clean kitchen brings me up rather than down.

Be well.

Andrew vs The Demons: Week 3 Halftime-ish

When you have a blog you occasionally come across a blog that is much better than your own. Today I came across such a blog. I know not what the usual subject of the blog is but lately it's about depression. Check it out. Click here to visit Hyperbole And A Half. There is some of what they call "strong language" but we're all adults here, right? We can handle that.

So what about me? I think The Demons are on holiday. Self doubt and self pity have been around but they never stay for a second cuppa. Besides, they're supposed to show up now and again. Exuberance has been around too. At least that's what I'm calling it. I think my baseline mood has levelled up so... [metaphor about a power meter in a video game]. That'll do.

Be well.

Andrew vs The Demons: Week 2 Some More

"The best bridge between despair and hope is a good night's sleep."
- E. Jospeh Cossman

Andrew vs The Demons: Week 2 So Far So Good

My reset did me some good. Perhaps yesterday I was merely tired. A nap once home from work followed by a bite to eat and then straight to bed. Today was much better. This is an ongoing trend. The day after an afterwork nap is always good. Today was also Saturday and it was sunny so all of that helps.

Be well.

Andrew vs The Demons: Week 2 So Far

So I wasn't really keeping score this week. I took it to mean I must be winning. Though today, Friday, I'm unsure. I'm unsure how I quantify or describe today's feelings. I plan to hit "reset" (ie have a nap) and reassess. Stay tuned.

Be well.

Andrew vs The Demons: Week 1 Wrap Up

So how did Thursday end? It ended well. I'll spare you the video game analogies, this time. I received an unexpected gift. I leant a hand to someone in need. The rain stopped and the sun came out. There may have been a rainbow! I went to an event that in the past would have been far far outside my comfort zone but now somehow is within my comfort zone.

Friday I wore a shirt requiring cufflinks. You can't stop a man with cufflinks, you just can't.

Saturday was a day free from doubt. It might have been the Rabbi; it might have been the hamburgers. I suspect it had a lot to do with those who look a lot like me.

Sunday morning involved bacon and the AM In The A.M. playlist on Songza. I was in a good mood. I went for a walk around the neighbourhood and even though i was accosted in the street it didn't bother me. The day was rounded out by a nice chat over a couple of pints and that leads us to today. You will nee to wait until Wednesday or Thursday to hear about today.

Be well.